Breathe: How Breathing Can Hack Your Nervous System

You’ve probably been told to “take a deep breath” when you’re stressed. It’s well-meaning advice, but it often falls flat because most people don’t understand why breathing works or how to do it effectively.

Your breath isn’t just about getting oxygen into your lungs. It’s one of the most direct ways to communicate with your nervous system – that security system we talked about in the last post that’s constantly scanning for threats and triggering fight, flight, or freeze responses.

But while you can’t directly control your heart rate, blood pressure, or stress hormone levels, you can control your breathing. And when you change your breathing, everything else follows.

The Science Behind the Breath

Remember those two operating systems from my previous article – your sympathetic (emergency) and parasympathetic (rest and repair) nervous systems? Your breathing pattern is like a direct hotline between them.

When you’re stressed, your breathing becomes quick and shallow, mostly in your chest. This sends a message to your sympathetic system: “Danger! Stay alert!” When you breathe slowly and deeply, especially with longer exhales, you’re essentially telling your parasympathetic system: “All clear. It’s safe to relax now.”

This isn’t just psychology – it’s physiology. The vagus nerve, which controls your parasympathetic response, is directly stimulated by certain breathing patterns. Longer exhales activate this nerve, triggering what’s called the “relaxation response.”

A Brief History of Breathing

Humans have known about the power of breath for thousands of years. What’s fascinating is that cultures across the world, with no contact with each other, independently discovered remarkably similar breathing practices.

Whether it’s Catholic rosary prayers, Buddhist chanting, or Hindu mantras, most traditional practices involve breathing patterns that hover around 5.5 seconds in and 5.5 seconds out – about 5.5 breaths per minute. This isn’t coincidence. This rhythm appears to be hardwired into our physiology as the optimal breathing rate for calm, focused states.

Modern science has confirmed what ancient traditions knew intuitively: this breathing pattern maximises heart rate variability (a sign of nervous system flexibility), optimises oxygen exchange, and promotes deep states of calm alertness.

Describing vs Knowing Your Breath

Before we dive into techniques, there’s a crucial distinction that makes the difference between breathing exercises that work and those that don’t.

Most people, when asked to notice their breath, start describing it to themselves: “My breath is going in… now it’s going out… it feels warm… it’s filling my chest…” This is describing your breath, and while it might feel mindful, you’re still very much in your head.

Knowing your breath is different. It’s the felt sense of breathing – actually experiencing the physical sensations without the mental commentary. It’s feeling the air move through your nostrils, sensing your ribs expanding, experiencing the natural pause between breaths.

This shift from describing to knowing moves your attention from your head into your body. And that’s where the magic happens – you can’t regulate your nervous system from your thoughts alone. You need to drop into the physical experience.

Try this now: Instead of thinking about your breath, see if you can simply feel it. Notice where you sense it most clearly – perhaps the coolness of air entering your nostrils, or the gentle rise and fall of your belly. No need to describe or analyse, just feel.

Don’t worry if you find yourself slipping back into describing mode – this is completely natural and happens to everyone. Simply notice when your mind starts narrating (“now I’m breathing in…”) and gently return to the felt experience. This noticing and returning is part of the practice, not a failure.

Practical Breathing Techniques

The Foundation Technique: Extended Exhale

This is your basic nervous system reset button. The key is making your exhale longer than your inhale.

Breathe in for 4 counts
Breathe out for 6 counts
Repeat 5-10 times

The longer exhale activates your vagus nerve and signals safety to your system. You can adjust the counts to what feels comfortable – the ratio matters more than the specific numbers.

The Physiological Sigh

This technique, also known as the double inhale, is particularly useful when you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed.

Take two smaller inhales through your nose (in-in)
Follow with one long exhale through your mouth (out)
The exhale should be at least twice as long as the combined inhales

The double inhale helps fill your lungs more completely, while the long exhale provides maximum parasympathetic activation.

4-7-8 Breathing

This technique is excellent for falling asleep or deep relaxation.

Inhale through your nose for 4 counts
Hold your breath for 7 counts
Exhale through your mouth for 8 counts

Alternate Nostril Breathing

This balancing technique comes from yoga traditions.

Use your thumb to close your right nostril, inhale through your left
Close your left nostril with your ring finger, release your thumb, exhale through your right
Inhale through your right nostril
Close your right nostril, release your left, exhale through your left
This completes one cycle

Box Breathing (4-4-4-4)

Some people find the structure of this technique helpful, though it doesn’t work for everyone.

Inhale for 4 counts
Hold for 4 counts
Exhale for 4 counts
Hold empty for 4 counts

The key is keeping the counts equal and comfortable. Don’t strain – if 4 is too long, try 3 or even 2.

When Breathing Exercises Feel Uncomfortable

Some people find focused breathing exercises make them feel more anxious, not less. This is completely normal and doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

If breathing exercises feel uncomfortable:

Start with shorter sessions (30 seconds to 1 minute)
Keep your eyes open rather than closed
Focus on exhales only – don’t worry about controlling the inhale
Try breathing with movement, like gentle walking
Remember that feeling your breath, not controlling it, is often enough

Sometimes the best approach is simply becoming aware of your natural breathing rhythm without trying to change it at all.

Choosing Your Technique

Different techniques work better in different situations:

Feeling panicked or overwhelmed: Physiological sigh (double inhale, long exhale)
General stress or tension: Extended exhale (4 in, 6 out)
Trouble sleeping or need deep relaxation: 4-7-8 breathing
Want to build a daily practice or find balance: 5.5 second rhythm or alternate nostril
Need structure and focus: Box breathing
Struggling with breathing exercises: Just feeling your natural breath

Making It Practical

You don’t need to set aside special time for breathing (though you can). These techniques work in the moment:

Before a difficult conversation
When you notice tension building
After an argument or stressful situation
When you’re lying in bed with racing thoughts
During your commute or while waiting

Remember, your breath is always with you. It’s the most accessible tool you have for communicating with your nervous system and finding your way back to calm.

The goal isn’t perfect breathing – it’s using your breath as a bridge back to your body and out of your worried thoughts. With practice, it becomes as natural as… well, breathing.